Why Am I So Scared to Travel Alone as a Woman?

Why Solo Travel Fear Feels So Big

Fear thrives on the unknown.

And that makes sense, right?

Your brain doesn’t have any real information to work with in a new situation, so it fills in the blanks with the worst-case scenarios instead.

And, let’s be real, solo travel is one of the biggest unknowns there is!

You’re most likely in a new country, exploring a new city – and doing it all without anyone else beside you for support.

So of course your brain panics and fear kicks in.

It’s literally hard-wired to go unknown = unsafe = trigger a fear response to immediately get us back to our comfort zone.

And this is where the what-ifs come in:

• What if I panic?
• What if I get lonely?
• What if I’m not brave enough to actually do this?
• What if something goes wrong?

But here’s the thing…

Those what-ifs aren’t proof that solo travel isn’t for you. Or that you’re even too scared to solo travel. They’re just your brain’s natural instinct trying to protect you from something unfamiliar.

And this is especially true when we try to go all-in on a trip from day one.

Fear often feels huge because we picture (and even plan) the whole trip at once: the flights, the hotels, the unfamiliar language, being alone for days on end…

But when you’re already stepping outside your comfort zone, that’s almost always too much, too soon.

So instead, I like to think of solo travelling as walking up stairs instead of taking the elevator that leaps straight to the top in one go.

(Which is a weird analogy, I know, but bear with me!)

Because basically what I’m saying is you don’t need to take the whole thing in one go. You just need to take the next tiny step.

Katie’s Top Tip: Fear feels huge when you try to imagine the whole trip at once. Break it down into one tiny step at a time, and it feels a lot more manageable.

My Experience With Feeling Scared To Travel Alone (And Why It’s Normal)

I wish I could tell you now that I felt calm and confident before my first solo trip.

But, as you can probably guess, I really didn’t!

I’d dreamed of a weekend at the Christmas Market in Montreux, Switzerland, mainly because I wanted to see the “flying” Santa play his ukulele (which is very cool, by the way!)

But I had zero self-confidence, and I had (and still have) anxiety and social anxiety.

Related Read: If social anxiety is part of what’s holding you back, my post all about what it’s like to solo travel with social anxiety goes in depth on that.

So it’s safe to say my brain worked overtime before I even booked. I was terrified.

Every what-if I could possibly imagine got louder and louder, and I kept trying to figure out the ENTIRE trip before I would even consider committing.

I’m not kidding; I tracked the hotel’s site for an entire month, too scared to actually book!

And when I finally did, the price had shot up since I’d first found it.

But looking back, I know that was my way of stalling and trying to stay in my comfort zone.

So this is what I wish I’d known back then:

I didn’t need the whole trip figured out to book (that was just fuelling my fear). I just needed to take the one tiny next step.

And I know that’s not the polished, confident version of solo travel you usually see on Instagram, but it’s definitely the real one for a lot more of us than you can imagine.

Katie’s Top Tip: You don’t need the whole trip figured out to book it. You just need the one next tiny step.

Does Feeling Scared To Solo Travel Ever Actually Go Away?

Honest answer? Not completely. (I’m sorry!)

But it does change.

I still spiral before every single one of my solo trips, even now, 5+ years and 24 countries in.

And a lot of the same what-ifs still show up, as loud as they were before Switzerland.

But the difference is: I now know I can travel with my anxieties, instead of waiting for them to disappear first.

And every single trip I have ever taken, no matter how scared I was before or even during, has given me memories I wouldn’t trade for the world.

So no, I can’t promise the fear ever fully goes away.

But what I can tell you is that you will learn to quiet it, just a little more on each trip.

And honestly, I think solo travel fear is just normal, full stop.

Whether it’s your first trip or your 30th, you’re still going outside your comfort zone, and so, of course, it’s natural for your brain to react to that.

But please know I’m absolutely not telling you any of this to put you off solo travel.

I’m telling you so you know that, however uber-confident people may look on social media, for most of us, that underlying feeling never quite goes away.

Because honestly, solo travelling with my anxiety and not seeing myself reflected in all the confident content online is exactly why I built this community in the first place.

So I hope you know that you are not the only one going through this.

Honest note: I’m not a therapist, and this isn’t clinical advice. Just what’s actually helped me personally, anxiety and all!

Katie’s Top Tip: Feeling terrified to solo travel doesn’t disappear completely. But it does get quieter every time you feel scared and then travel anyway.

What This Fear Doesn’t Mean

Feeling scared to solo travel doesn’t mean you’re not brave enough.

It doesn’t mean you’re not cut out for this. Or that booking the trip would be an inevitable mistake.

And it also doesn’t mean solo travel is inherently dangerous…

Because fear and danger aren’t the same thing, even though your brain will try to convince you they are.

What it does mean is that you’re human, and you’re about to do something new.

There’s a limiting belief floating around that confidence is something you’re just supposed to have before you book. Like it should already be there waiting for you.

But confidence just doesn’t work like that.

In the last five years, the biggest thing I’ve learnt is that confidence is built through action. It’s not something that magically happens overnight.

Related Read: My post about how to build the confidence to travel solo (even if you’re anxious) breaks down my exact process for this one tiny step at a time!

One Small Way to Start Working Through Solo Travel Fear

Right now, that feeling of “I’m scared to solo travel” probably feels like it’s too huge for you to ever overcome.

Or at least, I know that’s how it felt for me before my first solo trip.

So here’s one tiny step you can take right now:

Instead of just “I’m scared”, write down the actual what if underneath it.

Because, as I shared earlier, fear is really just what-ifs disguised as emotion. And only when you name them can you actually start to work through them.

Here are some I pulled from my journal before my first trip to Switzerland:

• What if I get lost and can’t find my way back to my hotel?
• What if I have a panic attack and there’s no one around to help me?
• What if people think I’m weird for being alone?
• What if something unsafe happens?

And naming the what-if behind the fear does two things:

1. It shrinks it down to something manageable.
2. It means you can actually do something about it, instead of just fighting the emotion.

And once you know exactly what you’re scared of, you can eventually take small, practical steps towards overcoming that specific fear.

Related Read: If your solo travel fear is more about safety specifically rather than anxiety in general, I have a whole post on that too!

FAQs About Feeling Scared To Travel Solo

Quiz: What’s Stopping You From Solo Travel?

You’ve read why feeling scared to solo travel is normal, but everyone’s actual fear looks a little different. Take this two-minute quiz to find yours and the one small step that’ll help!

Take Your Next Small Step Towards Your First Solo Trip

If you only remember one thing from this post, please let it be this:

Feeling scared doesn’t disqualify you from solo travel.

It just means you’re human, and you’re considering something outside your comfort zone.

You don’t need to feel fearless before you book. You don’t need to have it all figured out. You just need the one next tiny step.

And that’s exactly why I created my free email course, 7 Days To Your First Solo Trip (Even If You’re Anxious). It breaks your first trip down into one small, doable step each day, so it feels manageable instead of overwhelming!

Or, if you’d love more support than the free course, the First Solo Trip Toolkit walks you through my exact roadmap from dreaming but scared to booked and ready!

READ NEXT: If you want to learn more about building your confidence up gradually, my post How to Build Confidence to Travel Solo (When You’re Anxious) shows you exactly how!

Pin Me For Later!

Want a little extra support planning your next solo trip?

Explore my FREE Solo Female Travel Resource Library – a growing collection of tools designed to help you feel prepared, confident, and genuinely excited about travelling on your own – even if anxiety has been holding you back.

Inside, you’ll find:

• 7 Days To Your First Solo Trip (Even If You’re Anxious) Email Course
• The Ultimate Solo Female Travel in Europe Starter Kit
• An exclusive invite to my private Facebook community
• Plus checklists, templates, mini‑guides, and new resources added regularly

Click here to access the full resource library! 💛

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