How to Build Confidence to Travel Solo (When You’re Anxious)
If you’re waiting to feel totally confident before you book your first solo trip, I need to (gently) stop you right there.
Because that confidence you’re putting your dream on hold for isn’t going to show up first.
(Or, at least, it never did for me.)
Instead, I’ve learnt the hard way that confidence to travel solo doesn’t come before you book; it comes after.
I’ve built mine one trip at a time (and one tiny action at a time) across 24 countries, and I still don’t feel naturally confident. I still have anxiety and social anxiety.
The difference is that I’ve now built enough evidence to trust myself anyway.
And that always comes through action, not waiting for “one day.”
But I do get it.
When you don’t feel confident, solo travel can feel completely, totally out of reach.
And that’s exactly why we’re not going to look at the whole trip at once. We’re going to build this up in tiny steps instead, the same way I did!
This post is also a podcast episode! So if you’d rather listen than read, hit play below. It’s also on Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music and YouTube if you prefer those.
Katie’s TL;DR
Confidence isn’t a feeling you wait for. It’s evidence you build, one action at a time.
The fastest way to start? Try my Evidence List exercise in this post and always keep your focus on the next tiny step instead of the whole, overwhelming big picture.
Want my process for building confidence? My free email course, 7 Days To Your First Solo Trip (Even If You’re Anxious), breaks your first trip down into one doable step a day, so it feels manageable instead of overwhelming.
Or, if you’re ready for more personalised support, the First Solo Trip Toolkit and my Solo Travel Confidence Calls are both built to help you go from feeling scared and unsure to booked and ready!
Why You Don’t Need to Feel Confident Before You Book Your Trip
Here’s a (honestly really unhelpful!) myth I want to bust straight away:
The women who look completely fearless travelling solo on social media don’t have some magic gene that makes them immune to fear.
They’ve just built up more evidence, over more trips, than you have right now.
And that’s not a bad thing. It just takes time.
Before my first solo trip, to Montreux in Switzerland, I used to think that because I wasn’t a naturally confident extrovert, solo travel just wasn’t for me.
I didn’t want to stay in hostels, backpack through Asia or go to loads of parties.
And on top of that, I also have anxiety and social anxiety.
Maybe you can relate?
Related Read: If social anxiety is part of what’s holding you back, my post all about solo travelling even if you have social anxiety, goes much deeper into this topic.
So I decided solo travel wasn’t for “people like me.”
I’d scroll through Pinterest for hours, saving inspiration for all my dream trips.
But I kept putting them off until “maybe someday”, when I’d magically feel confident enough to actually book.
Because that happens, right?
Spoiler alert: that someday confidence never came!
Because I definitely didn’t feel confident before my first solo trip. And most of the time, I still don’t.
Katie’s Top Tip: You don’t have to be a confident extrovert to solo travel. You just need more evidence than you have right now, and that comes with time.
What Confidence To Travel Solo Actually Is
So if confidence isn’t a feeling you’re waiting to arrive, what actually is it?
It’s proof.
Evidence that you’ve handled hard things before and come out the other side.
And no, that evidence doesn’t need to be travel-related at ALL. It can be absolutely anything!
So for me, I could say:
- I’ve seen shows at the theatre alone
- I’ve got through that (terrifying!) first week at a new job
- I’ve had difficult conversations in friendships that I’ve navigated through
You see how they can be things that are so small we might not even think of them?
But they’re all evidence.
And I think the fear around solo travel can sometimes feel so loud that we forget to give ourselves credit for what we’ve already overcome in our lives.
Katie’s Top Tip: Contrary to popular belief, confidence isn’t a feeling. It’s proof you’ve overcome hard things before, whether they were travel-related or not.
The Exercise That Changed How I See My Own Confidence
Open your notes app or grab your journal and write down every single hard thing you’ve already handled in your life.
It doesn’t matter how small it seems. And it doesn’t need to be travel-related in any way.
Just start listing it out, the way I did above.
Once you start, you’ll probably find the list grows faster than you expected.
And that’s the whole point.
Your brain remembers what’s gone wrong (or what could go wrong) far more easily than what you’ve already overcome.
So this exercise forces you to collect the proof your brain conveniently keeps forgetting.
Once you’ve finished, keep that list somewhere you can see it.
And add to it whenever you think of something new (this will be an ever-evolving document!)
Because that right there is your evidence.
And, as I’ve said, evidence (not some magical hack or moment) is what confidence is actually built from.
Katie’s Top Tip: Your brain remembers what’s gone wrong way more easily than what you’ve overcome. This exercise forces it to catch up with us!
How to Build Solo Travel Confidence in Tiny Steps
Once you’ve got your evidence, the next piece is learning to take your first solo trip in tiny steps, not one giant leap.
Because your first solo trip isn’t one giant decision. But a series of tiny ones.
And looking at the whole trip in one go is a sure-fire way to overwhelm yourself before you’ve even started – which is no good for anyone’s confidence!
But while I’m sharing this now, I definitely had to learn this the hard way.
About a year into solo travelling, I decided I wanted to do a month-long Interrail trip through Europe.
To France, Monaco, Italy, Germany and Czechia.
As you can imagine, it was a lot!
When I first sat down to plan it, I got as far as opening up my planner.
Then I cried because it felt so overwhelming. And abandoned the entire trip for weeks!
Looking back, I know it was because I’d made the (honestly, to be expected) overwhelm into something personal.
I thought, “Well, you can’t even handle this, so how are you going to handle the whole trip?”
And that’s what a lack of confidence does.
It makes your brain take the overwhelm personally, whether the trip in front of you is a long one or a short one.
So I came back to it and decided to take it one teeny tiny step at a time.
(Seriously, the tiniest steps I could manage to break it into!)
It didn’t matter how long it took, as long as I didn’t overwhelm my anxious brain. Because the second I did, it would start screaming at me with those scary what-ifs.
And it did take a while. Months, actually.
But I got there.
And I will always be so grateful that I didn’t let my lack of confidence to plan such a big trip stop me from going.
Because I explored beautiful Puglia, saw the autumn colours in Heidelberg, channelled my inner tourist in Rome, and made so many more memories I’ll have for life!
So if you only take one piece of advice, don’t try to plan the whole trip at once.
Just choose ONE thing to focus on at a time.
And trust that that’s genuinely all the confidence you need for right now, because the rest will be built step by step – across all of your solo trips to come.
Katie’s Top Tip: Don’t try to plan the whole trip at once. Just choose one thing to focus on today. That’s all the confidence you need right now.
If you want to steal my exact step-by-step planning process for your trip, my free email course, 7 Days To Your First Solo Trip (Even If You’re Anxious), gives you one small step to focus on each day, so you’re never trying to tackle it all at once!
Practical, Confidence-Building Actions to Try Before You Go
Your first solo trip doesn’t need to be when your confidence gets tested for the first time.
There are loads of tiny, practical things you can try before you even book.
Here are a few:
- Take yourself on a solo day trip somewhere near home
- Eat alone at a local café (or restaurant, if you want)
- Go to the cinema alone
- Spend one night in a hotel in your own city or hometown
When I started, I used to take myself to National Trust gardens near me for day trips. And then eventually, I moved up to taking myself to London for theatre matinees.
(I got so into it that I went to about 6 in just one summer, because I was determined to build my confidence!)
My biggest tip?
Keep all of these things genuinely doable, not aspirational.
This isn’t about proving anything. It’s just again about collecting evidence.
And another thing: your first solo trip itself doesn’t have to be the biggest, boldest thing you’ll ever do.
Honestly, I’d argue it shouldn’t be.
It should be deliberately short, and it doesn’t need to tick off 5 things from your bucket list!
There’s a popular belief that every trip has to be this great adventure, or your ultimate dream trip, for it to actually count and be worthwhile.
But that’s just not true.
Related Read: 15 BEST First-Time Solo Female Travel Destinations in Europe. If you’re not sure where a genuinely doable first trip could even take you, this post is a good place to start dreaming realistically instead of aspirationally.
Katie’s Top Tip: Your first trip doesn’t need to tick off 5 bucket list boxes to count. Deliberately small is allowed.
What to Do When Your Confidence Dips Again (Because It Will)
I wish I could tell you that once you’ve built some confidence, it stays steady forever.
But (unfortunately!) that’s not how it works.
Confidence isn’t a straight line. And it’s completely normal for doubts to come back up, even after you’ve booked, or even mid-trip.
Honestly, I still spiral before every single trip I take, even now, 5+ years and 24 countries in.
And the same scary what-ifs still show up, loud like they were before my first trip.
But the difference is, I now know I can travel with my anxiety, instead of waiting for it to disappear first.
So if your confidence dips again, please know that doesn’t undo any of the progress you’ve already made.
It just means you’re doing something outside your comfort zone. And that’s exactly when your brain is supposed to react.
Let it wobble. Then take your next tiny step anyway.
Katie’s Top Tip: A wobble doesn’t undo the progress you’ve already made. Let it happen, then take the next step anyway.
How I Built My Own Confidence Across 24 Countries
If you’d told 18-year-old me, waiting for my flight to Switzerland and wanting to run home instead of boarding, that I’d go on to solo travel to 24 countries, I wouldn’t have believed you.
I was terrified. I had zero confidence. And I had (have!) anxiety and social anxiety.
But I got on that plane anyway.
That trip became my first little piece of solo travel evidence.
And then every trip after added a little more.
Definitely not because the anxiety disappeared (I wish!) but because I kept collecting proof that I could handle things, the tiniest step at a time.
And on my last solo trip, I stood under the Northern Lights in Norway, midway through a 3-week solo rail trip and voyage on the Norway Coastal Express.
(Literally my dream since I was 16!)
And I was still anxious. And still with my brain that likes to hand me a new list of (incredibly creative!) what-ifs before every single trip.
But I was there anyway, achieving my dream, because of every tiny step I’d taken before it.
And that’s really the whole point of this post.
It’s not about becoming uber-confident or fearless.
(I don’t think that’s ever going to happen for me, and it doesn’t need to happen for you either!)
Instead, it’s just about collecting small pieces of proof, one trip at a time, that I can solo travel with my anxiety instead of waiting for one day when it will maybe disappear first.
Katie’s Top Tip: It was never about becoming fearless. It was about collecting proof, one trip at a time, that I could do this anyway.
Solo Travel Confidence FAQs
Does solo travel build confidence?
Yes, but not before you go. Instead, every trip becomes another piece of evidence that you can handle hard things, and that’s what actually builds confidence over time.
Do you have to be confident to solo travel?
No, you don’t. I have anxiety and social anxiety, and I still don’t feel naturally confident, but I’ve solo travelled to 24 countries anyway. Just take it one tiny step at a time!
How can I build up my confidence to solo travel?
Start by listing the hard things you’ve already handled in life, travel-related or not, so you can see the evidence you already have. Then take one small, practical step at a time, like a solo day trip or eating alone at a café, instead of trying to tackle the whole trip at once.
How long does it take to feel confident about solo travel?
There’s no set timeline, and honestly, the wobbly feeling never fully goes away for me either. But every trip adds a bit more evidence, so it does get a little easier to trust yourself more each time.
Can anxious people really solo travel?
Yes. I have anxiety and social anxiety and have still solo travelled to 24 countries. You don’t need to wait for anxiety to disappear first – you just need to take it one tiny step at a time to reduce the overwhelm fear thrives on.
Take Your Next Tiny Step Towards Your First Solo Trip
Remember: the confidence to solo travel isn’t something you wait to feel. It’s something you build, one tiny step at a time.
You don’t need to feel ready. You just need your one next small step.
And that’s exactly why I created my free email course, 7 Days To Your First Solo Trip (Even If You’re Anxious). It breaks your first trip down into one doable step a day, so it feels manageable instead of overwhelming:
Or, if you’d love more support than the free course, the First Solo Trip Toolkit walks you through my exact roadmap from dreaming but scared to booked and ready!
Pin Me For Later!
Want a little extra support planning your next solo trip?
Explore my FREE Solo Female Travel Resource Library – a growing collection of tools designed to help you feel prepared, confident, and genuinely excited about travelling on your own – even if anxiety has been holding you back.
Inside, you’ll find:
- 7 Days To Your First Solo Trip (Even If You’re Anxious) Email Course
- The Ultimate Solo Female Travel in Europe Starter Kit
- An exclusive invite to my private Facebook community
- Plus checklists, templates, mini‑guides, and new resources added regularly
Click here to access the full resource library! 💛
